It’s curious to see how certain people we might think we know so well, turns out we actually know so little about. The truth is, human nature is so unpredictable and our capacities so endless. Our mind can go so many ways. Nobody can really fully understand or know what’s going on someone’s mind, whether it’s your closest friend, your brother, your sister, or even your very own self. Think about it, have you ever had moments where you couldn’t figure out what the heck was happening in your head?
Sometimes, the mind surprises us with the strangest trajectories of thinking, paths we don’t want to go on or don’t intentionally choose to follow. As if our consciousness was living on it’s own and leading the way, pushing us to open new doors and unlock new perspectives. If we could all fully control our minds and guide it towards certain specific paths, life would be so much easier now wouldn’t it? And our thoughts would have so much more logic. After all, a full mental clarity is such a difficult thing to achieve. Some say it takes a mix of knowledge, logic, intuition and rationality, others that it’s pure spirituality. One thing I believe, is that we always have a choice of action. You can try to control your thinking, guide it, nurture opinions, thoughts… but never forget to let your mind surprise you. Because this is when the magic happens. If we all seem to be a bit common with our consciousness, this endless, abstract, silent at times, loud at others, world inside our heads that speaks to us all day long, the subconsciousness is even more interesting and twisted as it’s the one that pulls out elements from our day to day life that our eyes and brain don’t seem to notice, but actually do. And the subconsciousness is almost like this other intelligence inside of our heads that brings up the most absurd and random things, and manifests itself at times in our dreams, or through sudden illuminations of thinking.
I’ve always had a difficulty understanding what’s going on on my mind, trying to give sense to the abstract or to the mix of contradictory opinions and thoughts that lie within my head. “It has to make sense somehow”? Well, what if it sometimes doesn’t? What if our heads are as complex as certain math equations where the x’s cancel themselves when multiplied or divided in a certain way? Trying to give meaning to the absurd is like trying to work with a meaningless equation, you’ll spend hours figuring out how to solve it without ever getting to a conclusion, because there might not be any, it just leads to more questions. I’ve never been great at maths, only if I really, really worked hard on it. But I always had an admiration for the logic behind it and the mystery of how in the end, it can give you indeed a precise result. So shall we compare love to an equation? Or more like some abstract, absurd numbers on our mind that make no sense, feelings we didn’t choose to feel, a path we didn’t want to follow but somehow we ended up there? There are too many things we can’t control, and love is definitely one of them.
To bring it back to the subject of this article, I was extremely nervous to put out the video for OUT. Many of you had already discovered the song on my Spotify and Itunes. I wanted the song to live it’s own life for a little, grow organically and make it’s own way, that’s why I didn’t want to promote the heck out of it and why I waited so long before releasing the visuals. The video is the portrayal of what I envisioned the story of the song to be like. It’s a big video, I definitely wanted to aim high with the production of it and am blown away by the result. Justin Wu, my best friend, who directed it, did such an incredible job at putting the pieces of the puzzle together. I had the pleasure to art direct and write the whole story which evolved around a personal experience which we of course beauty-fied for the purpose of the clip. OUT is the story of the absent one, the one who haunts our mind but is never present in our reality, only through our tourments. The whole idea of the video was inspired by one of my favorite books which is the “Horla”, by Maupassant. For those of you who enjoy french literature, I highly recommend the read. It’s the story of a writer haunted by a presence that tortures him and pushes him to progressively become possessed by the ghost itself. Most of the story itself happens within the main character’s mind and we can never fully understand if there was really a presence or not.
Somehow, this spoke to me so deeply and reflected exactly how I felt about the song. It’s hard to explain it, but if you read the book, you might get what I mean. And if you’ve ever had a crazy delirious relationship where mind games was at the heart of the action, then you might understand even better. I wanted the ghostly character to remain a dark, blur silhouette, because even though for me it was someone specific it could have also been anyone. I’ve always believed that from pain and melancholy results the most beautiful work of art, some of my favorite poets, writers, artists, director, photographers, developed such meaningful, deep and powerful works of art around dark subject matters. I’ve been cultivating my own dark flowers and been appreciating watching them grow peacefully. Although I can be a pretty upbeat, positive and enthusiastic person, when it comes to creating, I’ve always been inspired by darker, deeper, more mysterious subjects that tend to grab my curiosity more intensely. As the video says, OUT is merely the prologue of a new story I am looking forward to begin and hope to share with you gradually. More songs are definitely on the way and my biggest wish is that they’ll somehow bring words and melodies to certains moments of your life. Hope you guys liked it and please, let me know your thoughts and comments. I am so excited to read it all. Love you all x